Four Things You Can Do When You Feel Overwhelmed

October 22, 2017 Mike StPierre

I signed my kids up for basketball this week. Here’s a snapshot of how it went:

1. Daily emails from the school reminding me of the signups.
2. Creating an account online.
3. Confirming my account via email.
4. Paying for the two kids to play basketball.
5. Capturing my password and login credentials in 1Password.
6. Marking on the calendar the key meetings and events that go with signing two kids up for basketball.
7. Creating a project in OmniFocus so I can “park” all of my basketball-related items in one place.

If this was the only thing in my life, it wouldn’t be a big deal. Two kids playing basketball… sounds great right?

Except that it’s only one slice of the pie. Life as a forty-something dad with four kids has become exceedingly complex. The basketball signup process is just one thing that I’m managing.

Other (similar) projects include my daughter’s Fall Drama rehearsal schedule and what role parents need to play. There’s winterizing the house before the first frost. Then there’s the committee that I should never have signed up for but did out of guilt. The conference calls for that commitment add another layer of stress.

I could keep going… but I won’t because you probably have similar things on your project list. We all add more complexity than we’d like to our lives.

“Noise is our accumulated list of projects, tasks and todo’s that need to be managed. It’s life really. ”

And complexity equals one thing and that is noise.

Noise is our accumulated list of projects, tasks and todo’s that need to be managed. It’s life really. Nothing more, nothing less.

The key is this- do we have a system that is capable of helping us manage all of these projects? Does a person really need to use a productivity app to manage basketball signups? Can’t life be simpler than this?

Sadly, no it can’t. Sure, when you’re about 10 years old life is simple. You wake up and do whatever comes to you during the day. But once you hit middle school and beyond, you’ve graduated to Project Manager status.

Your system needs to keep up.

The “problem” I have (and maybe you do too?) is that I get tired. On some days, I just don’t want to have to manage projects in my personal life. I don’t mind it at all in my “work life”- we use Nozbe for that.

But it’s the Saturday morning kind of thing that bothers me. It’s a tension to manage- having projects for my kids’ commitments and my non-work activities. It just gets overwhelming at times.

You could just say, “the heck with it” and toss up your hands and hit delete. This might be effective for a short while but is probably irresponsible or reckless for the long haul.

Instead, here are four creative strategies for when you feel overwhelmed by your system:

Visit with a spiritual director on a regular basis. Visiting with my spiritual director, a Catholic priest, has been the most impactful decision of my adult life. Without someone to talk to about deep things, most of us are left to wrestle with our internal world on our own. Overwhelm is definitely one of the things that a spiritual director can help with.
Take an intentional hiatus from social media. More and more studies show that the more time you spend on social media, the unhappier you are. By hitting the pause button on your Facebook and Twitter usage, you’re making more time for simpler things that matter much more.
Reclaim your Sabbath. When do you take “sabbath”? When do you stop picking up socks around the house and sticks in the yard? When do you enjoy doing something that truly makes you smile? By reclaiming your Sabbath, you’re not escaping your overwhelming list of projects and todos. Rather, you’re giving them a context of the rest of your life. I recommend Terry Hershey's Sabbath Moments as a place to start if you want to reclaim your Sabbath.
Cut it out. At a certain point, you just need to do less. Which project can you cancel or delete? Which committee can you gracefully bow out of? Which event can you skip?

We all get overwhelmed. The real key is to respond with patience and calm. Be compassionate with yourself and realize that you have much more agency than you think.

You’ll get through it!

The Value of a Thinking Walk

September 22, 2017 Mike StPierre

Exercise is sort of like travel on the airplane for business purposes- not always fun but effective for clearing out the cobwebs in your head. Getting moving is good for your body and great for your mind.

Tony Robbins says, “If you want to change your emotion, get in motion.”

A new idea that I learned recently is called the “thinking walk”. A thinking walk is basically a slightly slower walk than a workout. You’re not moving at a snail’s pace but you’re also not training for a marathon.

You’re thinking first and walking second. Most of us do the opposite which is why the thinking walk is so effective.

A thinking walk is useful if you have a big idea that you want to ponder. You’re giving yourself permission to think while you walk. I know it sounds kind of weird but once you try it, I suspect that you’ll be a believer like me.

The walk can take place at the beginning or even the end of the day. If you really want to take it to another level, you can build a walk into your day, as if it were a scheduled meeting. The advantage to this is that it will force you to think deeply while you walk. After all, you’re on “company time” if you do it this way. When you return, you might even want to jot down a few thoughts you had during the walk.

When can you schedule your next thinking walk? Which problems will you ponder when you are walking?

The Problem with the 2 Minute Rule

September 4, 2017 Mike StPierre

Life comes at you pretty fast. My morning began with getting up for my morning routine by 5:30am, waking my daughter for work by 6:15am followed by my wife at 7am. After dropping off the teenager at work, I began my own work as a director of a national non-profit. The morning was filled with email, project lists and a few phone calls. By the time lunch came around at noon, I was ready for a break.

Some of our work demands that we tackle it right then and there:

The realtor calls with an offer for your house.
Your son is sick and needs to be picked up from school.
The water bill needs to be paid by Friday.

You know something urgent when you see it. I bet your list is much the same. Different items but a healthy variety of whatever makes up "life" for you.

A question that I often think about is whether to address tasks when they show up or is it better to schedule them at a time when you can more fully engage with them.

The former approach is probably most linked to David Allen's famous Two Minute Rule. In other words, deal with it when it shows up rather than when it blows up. Allen once told Success magazine the following about the Two Minute Rule, "If you determine an action can be done in two minutes, you actually should do it right then because it’ll take longer to organize it and review it than it would be to actually finish it the first time you notice it." (Source)

I understand this approach but the older I get, the more I'm uncomfortable with it. Even further, the more I work the less I want to use the Two Minute Rule altogether.

Let me explain, the Two Minute Rule sounds really good and there is something good about getting things off your plate as quickly as possible. It presumes that you are in an interruption-rich mindset and that you don't mind being taken off task. Think of it as "knowledge work" triage- a few tasks related to this and a few related to that. Keep it all moving, etc.

Where The Two Minute Rule becomes a problem is when you are trying to find blocks of time to do uninterrupted work. Think of Cal Newport here, i.e. “deep work”. How can I be truly immersed in my work if I'm allowing myself to be interrupted here and there to practice The Two Minute Rule?

Two Different Approaches

If you don't want to use The Two Minute Rule, I suggest the following as alternative mindsets for work:

1. Consider theming your days. I've used this approach for years and it's a game-changer. By giving each day a distinct "theme", you are creating containers for your work. Tim Uhl of the Catholic School Matters podcast and I talk about it here.

At work, this means that I'm creating content on Monday and focusing on constituents on Tuesday. Each other day has a theme as well. At home, this applies to some of our administrative asks as a family. I don't like to process the mail more than once a week. As a result, each Sunday, I go through the mail as it's been put into a pile during the week. This way, I don't have to deal with it on another day when it might throw me off my game. I’m doing the mail when I want to do the mail.

2. Schedule Interruptible Blocks During Your Day. If you can't use option one (day theming), you might be able to schedule some smaller blocks during your day. As an example, your morning might be dedicated to focused and uninterrupted work but you know that some things need to be addressed before day's end. To do this, you could schedule 1-2pm for those Two Minute Rule kinds of tasks. Then, the rest of the afternoon could be given back to your focused work.

However you work, whenever you work, do it in a way that works for you. Instead of giving in to the most urgent tasks, schedule them when you want to deal with them. That’s a form of productivity on your own terms.

3 Apps That Will Help You Focus at Work

August 30, 2017 Mike StPierre

We’ve all been there- you sit down to do some work at your computer and you get distracted.

If you’re like me, it goes something like this:

I’ll just check Twitter real quick...
... and follow a link from a sports writer to a story online...
... which makes me think that maybe there are related stories so I turn to Google for a quick search...
...which then takes me down the rabbit trail of three other articles related to the same topic.

Can you relate?

Ready to Reduce the Noise Around You?

Download the FREE PDF, "5 Ways That Noise Wreaks Havok on Your Prayer Life."

The rabbit trail is a dangerous thing. It's seductive really. The rabbit trail taps into our desire for quick, dopamine-inducing searches and internet expeditions. The rabbit trail affects us all, whether we are aware of it or not. If you have an internet connection, you've experienced this. If you use social media, you've experienced this. If you have a smartphone, you know what I'm talking about.

I suppose the question is this: what are you going to do about it?

If you need to work online and can’t become a monk (although that sounds good sometimes right?), the good news is that there are a number of apps you can use to stay focused. Here are the three that I use regularly:

Self Control. This Mac-only app is very smart. It allows you to create a list of applications or websites that you know you’ll be tempted to visit. Then, by launching the app, it knows to not allow you to open those websites. I’ve used Self Control for months and find it very handy. You can also launch the app and tell it how long you want to do focused work. Self Control then begins and ends when your timed work is done. (cost: free)
Coffitivity. Cofffitivity is a website (and app) with some pre-recorded sounds that simulate a coffee shop. The makers of of the application have stepped up their game and now offer a handful of different coffee shop soundtracks. Just launch the one that fits your mood and you’re off and running. There’s something about a little bit of back noise that helps you to focus and do your work. (cost: free; a $9 premium version is also available)
White Noise. White Noise comes in both a free and for-pay version and it’s great. There are tons of sounds that you can try out, from the sound of a hairdryer to the purr of a cat to the sound of a rowboat along the water. White Noise is what I use when there is some other noise in the house or in my office. I launch White Noise and it serves to negate most of the other noise around me. This is very subtle but good news- it actually works. (cost: free; a premium option is also available)

Another tactic you might try is to use an iPad for as much of your work as possible. While you can certainly multi-task on an iPad (with split-screen that allows you to have two apps side by side), it lends itself to using one application at a time.

Whether you go with the iPad or the apps that I mentioned above, the key is to outsmart the distractions in your head. Once you do that, you’ll be more free to do your focused work.

BONUS: if you’re a person of prayer, you may want to try White Noise in order to set the mood and tune out the other noises around you. While this isn’t practical for praying at church, it does the trick for those times when you want to have a quiet time at home but just can’t seem to tune out the noise.

The Eight Elements of a Digital Sabbath

August 9, 2017 Mike StPierre

You’re at the grocery store and what do you see? People on their smartphones, walking down the aisles. You go to the restaurant and what do you see? Whole families sitting near one another but not really being present to each other. Even at church, with just a few spare minutes before services, you’ll see smartphones pulled out of pockets and purses. Just in case I miss something...

The smartphone cometh and has taken us to places we never imagined.

Consider the following:

Did you know that, according to Pew Research, only 15% of teens do not have a smartphone? That means that the kid next door to the kid next door to the kid next door... all using smartphones. I can remember just a few years ago when smartphones were kind of a luxury. Today, not so much.
There's more- the average person, according to AOL News, unlocks their phone 80 times per day. Think about that for a moment. We unlock (and then use) our phones 80 times per day. What else do you do 80 times per day? I can't think of anything if I'm honest.

When I first read that last stat, I didn't believe it. Then, I tested out an app called Moment. I realized that I was picking up my phone way more than I realized. Dozens of times per day to be exact.

Ready to Reduce the Noise Around You?

Download the FREE PDF, "5 Ways That Noise Wreaks Havok on Your Prayer Life."

Can you relate to all of this? Do you pick up your phone more than you’d like, feeling tempted to check it even in the thinnest moments of your day?

What can you do if you are starting to feel as if your phone is taking over your life? I suggest one simple thing and it’s called The Digital Sabbath.

The Digital Sabbath is a technique borrowed from ancient Judaism and Christianity whereby believers would take a day out of their week to rest. The concept was deeply baked into the DNA of adherents: no work, just rest, play, enjoyment and renewal. That sounds good, doesn't it?

To most of us, this idea sounds cute. I used to think this too until I started to take it seriously. I figured I had nothing to lose so I picked Sunday as my day of the week. Since I’m a Catholic Christian, this also made lots of sense. Sunday would be the day when I would try not to use my phone.

After doing this experiment for several months, I’ve found the following to be eight key elements of a successful digital sabbath:

Define what “digital” means to you. To me, it’s mostly my phone + Twitter + Facebook. I don’t feel tempted to check Instagram or LinkedIN any more so those didn’t make the cut.
Decide why you want to do the sabbath in the first place. For me, it’s a break, a breather and a barrier. I need rest from digital usage. I want to breath a different pace of life and finally, I want to gradually create a healthy barrier between me and my technology. A day off helps me to do that.
Don’t beat yourself up. If you mess up and suddenly check your phone at a point in the day, be gentle with yourself. Put it down and get back to whatever you were doing. It’s ok.
When with others, keep gadgets out of sight. Fight the urge to place the phone between you and your partner when you’re eating a meal or having a conversation.
When watching TV or a movie, keep gadgets far enough away that you’re not tempted to reach for them. This might apply to a tablet or your phone or your laptop.
Pick up a book. Grab one that you really enjoy and have been looking forward to reading. Give yourself permission to read something analogue (a book, newspaper, etc.).
Include nature or leisure. By going outdoors or to a museum or street fair, you’ll “trick” your brain and distract yourself. To the degree that you can divert your attention to truly beautiful things (art, music, nature, etc.), all the better.
Celebrate the end of the sabbath. It’s ok to enjoy checking Facebook or email at the end of the day. Like breaking a fast, this is when you can reconnect with whomever you need to online.

These eight elements can make for a happy and productive digital sabbath. Why not schedule your next digital sabbath? When can you put down the phone and take a day for yourself to unplug?

How to Get Into the Zone When You Work

July 31, 2017 Mike StPierre

Have you ever had one of those days when you were like a stick-shift car? Back and forth, herky-jerky...

My first stick-shift was an old pickup truck and a summer job allowed me to deliver engine parts to local garages. I was a terrible driver and I was lucky that I wasn't fired- it was that bad.

Work can feel like this too- back and forth, tossing and turning from one thing to the next. The modern workplace is built to chop up our day into small blocks of time. The problem is that the boundaries of our "blocks" are fuzzy. Every "got a minute" takes us away from our ability to focus.

When our days are filled with lots of interruptions, it's very hard to get our heads back to a focused state. It can take several minutes to refocus after being interrupted. Meetings are much the same, draining our energy and taking up an awful lot of time.

Tired of Lousy Meetings?

Download the Effective Meeting Cheatsheet

Too many interruptions (and/or meetings) can leave your head spinning and your day totally wrecked. These work-killers are nothing more than "noise", creating a slow hum of displeasure in the day. With each interruption, you lose your head of steam and become more and more irritated. By the time you leave, you are frustrated and can feel defeated.

To counteract these pesky bugs, one thing is necessary: deep work. Deep work is the ability to focus, without interruption, on meaningful and challenging tasks for a prolonged period of time.

Check out this post about how deep work can help clear your head and further expand your ability to do deep work. The question remains- how much deep work do you need in order for your day to feel good? After all, most of us can't afford an entire afternoon alone in an office, doing deep work.

An hour without interruption might be satisfying enough. Imagine a day with just two blocks of uninterrupted time? As you begin to experience time-focused periods of your day, you'll begin to notice something.

You'll notice that you're not as frustrated when the interruptions do come along. This is because you know that you've already tasted "the good stuff" (of uninterrupted work) and you desire it even more for the rest of your day or later in the week. Having a block or two of deep work under your belt helps to "absorb" these interruptions.

Let me share a personal story to help make this point.

I was feeling particularly disjointed a few weeks ago. I knew that this was the result of not scheduling several hours of focused (i.e. "deep") work. As a person of faith, I try to see my work as part of my relationship with God. As such, I turned to prayer in order to recalibrate my day.

My prayer was very, very simple, "Lord, just give me the courage to do deep work, if even for a briefer time than I would like." I just needed to get into the zone and then all would be well. No more distractions, just focused and deep work.

This turned out to be exactly what I needed and my day went much better. I turned off the noise in my head and the noise around me using an app called Self Control. This forced me to write, to create and to ultimately finish a project that was in need of closure. When all was said and done, I felt great.

My day was rescued because I was able to dial back the noise, focus and put my head down in order to work. Can you relate?

For Follow Up
If you look back on the past week, can you name a day when you went home and felt as if you got absolutely nothing done? As you look forward to the week ahead, where can you schedule blocks of deep work when no one and nothing will be able to interrupt you? Once you schedule these blocks, you'll be in the zone and feel great about it!