Seven Ways to Avoid Distractions at Church

“I almost dropped her,” I told Cary after I had brought our newborn to Mass for the first time after her birth. There I was, devoted father and steady disciple of Christ, carrying my newborn around the periphery of Immaculate Conception Church in Clinton, NJ.

“Never address your words to God while you are thinking of something else.”

— St. Teresa of Avila

Unfortunately, Grace (daughter #1) squirmed - as kids do- and I almost dropped her on the hard (read “very hard”) marble floor. Thankfully I regained control of the situation and tried my best to focus on rest of Mass.

While this story might be extreme, it surfaces an issue that a lot of us have when we go to church- we can’t focus. Maybe it’s the child squirming in your lap, the football game later in the day, the annoying person in front of you who is checking his phone or whatever… there are plenty of distractions to go around.

This might seem normal but the costs are significant. For example:

• if you’re distracted you will likely not hear God’s Word proclaimed

• if you’re distracted your prayers will likely be half-hearted

• if you’re distracted you will be less present to those around you

• if you’re distracted you might have guilt over not being able to focus

“The way in which you can pray most fervently.”

— Bl. Jordan of Saxony

What are your distractions in church? For me, they are often in the space between my two ears. Thoughts creep in. I worry about things. Did I remember this or did I forget that…

So, as I like to do on this blog, I would like to suggest seven simple ways that you can banish distractions from your Sunday worship experience. Ready? Here goes:

1. Arrive 10 minutes early. This will allow you to get a good parking spot and avoid all sense of hurry.

2. Read the Gospel ahead of time. The night before or the morning of- either will do. When the deacon or priest finally proclaims the Gospel, you’ll be more engaged.

3. Sit far from doors or entry places. People walk through doors. Doors creak and squeak. Many people arrive late. You can avoid all of this by sitting closer to the front or just far away from any doorways.

4. Close your eyes. I wouldn’t suggest doing this for the entirety of Mass (injuries will follow) but you can certainly avoid distractions during the readings or even after Holy Communion by closing your eyeballs.

5. Read along with the readings. Pay attention to the words. Look for subtle things that you might have previously missed.

6. Silence your phone. This goes without saying. Even better- leave the darn thing in your car. The world won’t stop, really.

7. Make an act of thanksgiving after Mass is complete. I’ve only recently been doing this and it really works. While everyone else is barging out of church, seemingly in a hurry, you can simply kneel for 60 seconds and thank God. Ask Him to be with you during the day and to be able to offer your day back to Him.

Distractions will come. Life is like that. The key, as is often the case, is to counter the distractions with some simple techniques for staying focused. You can do this.

What We Carry into Times of Prayer

Unrealistically, I often think that when I pray, a switch is flipped. Formerly distracted and stressed, I suddenly become wholly focused on the Lord.

As if!

If you’re anything like me, you also turn to God in prayer, only to find that the commitments of “the rest of your life” have tagged along with you. It’s hard to put them on the shelf, even for just a few minutes. Rather, they come with us and that may not be a bad thing.

The next time you head into prayer, take stock of the things you “carry” with you:

• what’s stressing you?

• what’s on your mind?

• how does your body feel?

• who is on your mind?

These are the things we carry when we pray. Bring them to God and let Him know about these things. I often tell my kids, “God cares about the things that we care about.” This is certainly true in prayer.

If Your Prayer is Simple, That’s a Good Thing

How simple is your prayer? This question is particularly valuable for those starting out and for those highly mature in the spiritual life.

• The “starter” just wants to be with the Lord, spending time simply with the One who they are falling in love with.

• The “veteran” has a simple prayer life as if a grandfather is spending time with his grandchild- the time together is enough.

My graduate class this semester is dealing with this tension- how simple should prayer really be? It’s a fascinating topic and one that my students are (appropriately) wrestling with. It’s something I wrestle with too! At times, I want to engineer more feeling, more emotion and more clarity. At other times, it’s cool to just present myself to the Lord.

Be compassionate with yourself when it comes to this tension. Depending on the season of your life, the level of simplicity will correspond. The key, not surprisingly, is to keep showing up day after day. The Lord will do the rest.

Five Things To Look for in a Faith-Based College

It’s a concrete fear that many parents have: what if my kids lose their faith while in college?

Whether from peers who have had children leave the Church or from the abundant research on this very topic, the fear is real. It’s also justified. The fact is that many students do abandon their faith (intentionally or not) during the college years.

There are a number of reasons for this, including:

• Access: with Catholic campus ministry on just over 800 campuses nationwide, this leaves thousands of campuses without Mass, a chaplain, a campus minister or any semblance of a faith community. Of the 1,000+ community colleges, it’s even worse.

• A weak foundation: while we can bemoan the droves of young people who turn away from the faith while in college, it’s worth inquiring about the strength of their foundation while they were in high school. In other words, “did they really have a strong faith before college?” Often, the answer is no. This is very uncomfortable to talk about but I believe that most teens don’t really know the Lord- which leads to the next point.

• A lack of personal relationship with the Lord: simply growing up in a faith-based home is no longer enough. Unless the students knows the Lord personally, she/he will likely leave their faith while in college. Unless they know how to “be Christian” in an atmosphere that isn’t, their “spiritual resiliency” will be fragile.

• An initial confrontation with intellectual challenge: if it’s hard for you to understand and articulate your faith, imagine what happens when you encounter a professor or fellow student who challenges you- it can rock a student’s world. They then feel inadequate and want to turn away. Their “apologetics muscle” isn’t strong enough to endure the challenges of most campuses. It’s not that the student doesn’t have faith. Rather, their faith vocabulary lags behind their belief.

If you are a student or a parent of a student approaching college, I suggest searching for the following five “signs” of spiritual vitality on a campus:

1. What is the Catholic vocabulary of the campus? From the college’s website to the promotional material, pay attention to how comfortable the college is about its Catholic identity. I receive packets all of the time from Catholic colleges and often, thankfully not always, the mention of Catholicism is but a footnote. Every word in a promotional brochure is labored over. The fact that a college would go out of its way to avoid its Catholicism should tell you something.

2. What is important for the college based on the tour? While I wouldn’t judge a campus entirely based on a 19 year old tour guide, each guide is coached to mention certain things and avoid others. Pay attention to this. Does the tour mention the chapel? Does the tour mention faith-related routines and rituals? Is D-1 football the real “religion” on campus? Are the blue safety lights mentioned more than anything else?

3. How updated is the campus ministry web page? Not every department in a college has full capacity to change its own webpages. This is unfortunately one of the consequences of red tape in higher education. Nonetheless, a campus ministry suite of pages does tell you how active the program is. Pay attention to this. It’s a good sign if the contact information is up to date and inviting to the guest.

4. How many students attend Mass regularly? Don’t ask about this because most will likely have but a vague answer. Rather, go to a daily or weekend Mass and just look around. Note that summer is not usually a fair time to judge as colleges are typically quieter in June and July.

5. How has the campus responded to recent moral challenges? Every college has its challenges- a scandal here, a discrepancy there. The key is how the college leadership responded to the challenge. When it involves morality, this is often an important marker of a college’s commitment to its core faith-based values. Was there a cover up? Was the college quick to respond? Was there a sense of pastoral concern and dialogue?

In future posts, I’ll be talking more about the college reality. For now, look for these five things as you begin to assess, in charity, the strength of a college’s faith foundation.

Make the Sign of the Cross

In this recent video on YouTube, I shared a story of a Protestant friend of mine. We walked into a chapel and I blessed myself with Holy Water, making the sign of the cross. Unfamiliar with this tradition, he thought it was odd to dip one’s finger into the water. I showed him that there was nothing magic about it.

Rather, making the sign of the cross was an ancient practice. Anyone could do it.

The sign of the cross is also a wonderful way to begin or end your time of prayer. Think of it as a bookend. Without the bookend, the novels will fall over.

This week, try slowing down and making the sign of the cross. Enjoy it. Savor it. Recognize that God is present and that you are taking special note of that fact.

Try Starting Your Prayer With a Question

Starting lines matter- a lot. They give us an objective beginning to whatever we are doing. This applies to our prayer lives as well.

There are probably hundreds of different ways to begin your time of prayer. These might include:

• Making the sign of the cross

• Reading a particular Bible passage that is meaningful to you

• Repeating a phrase or mantra

• Gazing at a religious icon

One thing that I’ve been trying lately is to simply take note of how I’m feeling. Do I have a knot in my stomach? Am I feeling at ease? Is something worrying me?

This “self inventory” is particularly important when we are going through a difficult or stressful time. Our family has recently been dealing with the loss of a loved one. Very difficult stuff. You want to start the day with a spring in your step. Instead, you feel a brick on your chest when you wake up… the stress of it all.

St Teresa of Avila said this, “Before prayer, endeavor to realize whose Presence you are approaching, and to whom you are about to speak. We can never fully understand how we ought to behave towards God, before whom the angels tremble.” In other words, take note of how you are approaching God, feelings and all.