The leaves changing colors on the trees in my backyard and the
points on the “No. 2” pencils growing a bit dull are primary indicators
that the time for annual parent teacher conferences at my child’s
elementary school are drawing near. I’ll be the first to admit that I
am one of those parents who gets a bit anxious at the prospect of
sitting down with my kids’ teachers. It’s silly really, as both boys
are excellent students and have relatively good conduct. I’ve never
had a “bad” parent teacher conference, so my nervousness is misplaced.
This year, I’ve decided to try to have a better, more productive
attitude towards what is actually a tremendous educational opportunity.
My oldest son is now in high school, where meetings with teachers
happen very infrequently. The high school conference is usually not
called to just sit and tell you how great your child is. Our
elementary school, on the other hand, affords parents this formal
chance once a year to conference individually with each teacher.
Tomorrow my husband and I will visit with the three women and one man
who spend their time devoted to educating Adam and his classmates.
Determined to make the most out of this opportunity, I turned to a
good friend for advice. Kimberly Cochran is the Principal of Our Lady
of Perpetual Help School in Clovis, California. Kim spent several
years in the classroom before transitioning into her administrative
role, so she speaks from the perspective of both a teacher and a
principal. Equally as important, Kim is the mother of two sons, so
she’s sat on the parent’s side of the desk at these meetings as well.
In my book, Mrs. Cochran’s word is gold, so I was eager for her advice.
“My best advice...arrive with a smile on your face and a positive
attitude,” shares Cochran. “If possible, email the teacher ahead of
time if there are concerns you would like to talk about. Share the
positive things that your child shares with you and remember that the
teacher is there to work with you to help your child succeed. Thank the
teacher for the time spent together and let him or her know you will
continue to keep the lines of communication open.”
These are wise words from a seasoned educational professional.
Along with Mrs. Cochran’s advice, other educators recommend the follow
tips for participating in conferences with your children’s teachers:
- Plan ahead. Make sure that you prioritize attendance at this
meeting and that if at all possible both parents are present. If work
schedules present a problem, notify your child’s teachers as soon as
possible and try to work out a scheduling compromise.
- Do your homework. Many schools send home progress reports in
advance of parent teacher conferences. Study your child’s reports and
look for trends, areas where your child may be struggling, or other
concerns. Make a written list of your questions and concerns. As
noted by Kimberly Cochran, bring special concerns to the teacher’s
attention prior to the conference, giving the teacher sufficient time
to prepare a response.
- Respect the teacher’s time. Arrive promptly. Remember that your
child’s teacher will be meeting with multiple parents, so be cognizant
of the teacher’s time limitations. Should your concerns take longer
than the time allotted, schedule a follow up conversation to address
more lengthy situations.
- Determine an action plan. With the teacher, prioritize the actions
that need to be taken to ensure that your child is fully meeting his
educational potential. Talk with the teacher about how you can follow
up to communicate about your child’s progress, whether by telephone,
email or future conferences. Leave the meeting knowing the next step
to help your child meet his goals.
- Thank the teacher. Teachers are underpaid and under appreciated
for the diligent work they undertake in our society. I plan to take
time tomorrow at my meetings with Adam’s teachers to let them know how
much we truly appreciate all they have done to help our child develop
into a responsible young man.
- Follow up with your child. Use your meeting with his teacher as a
chance to pass along the good news on what he’s doing well. Without
attacking, discuss with him areas of needed improvement. Work together
to determine short and long term goals, setting a concrete appointment
for follow up. Share with your child how very proud you are of his
accomplishments. Underscore the value of education and the
appreciation you have for both his effort and that of his teacher.
Parent teacher conferences are a unique opportunity for us to help
our children succeed, both educationally and in character development.
As such, it is well worth taking time to anticipate and plan for a
conference that will be productive and rewarding.